David (guest) 26 Apr 2015 18:23
You ask me for a hamburger. The universe rejects your impatient, selfish request. Time wraps around itself and restores you to the prehistoric age as you are reminded that there are no hamburgers in the new world order. You ask me for a hamburger. All the children in the universe shriek in terror. I give you a hamburger. Time stops moving entirely. You attempt to speak, but all we hear are the ferocious sounds of a silent dragon. I give you a hamburger. The biggest small dog in the universe tries to take it from you, only to be confronted with the reality that time is, in fact, moving frozen. I give you a hamburger. Your consciousness begins to drift into insanity. Images begin floating through your mind. You search inwardly, trying to find a purpose to your purposeless, irrelevant existance. I give you a hamburger. You bite into it and enjoy the sweet, sugary taste. You take another bite and you hear me screaming in terror. I beg you not to take another bite. When you ignore me, time itself begins to run backwards. You are a young child now. You reach for the hamburger in my hands. The universe collapses upon itself as I refuse to give you that which you desire. You ask me for a hamburger. I disapprove. You disapprove of my disapproval. I disapprove of your disapproval of your disapproval. The universe is so frustrated by our perpetual disapproval that it decides to disapprove in return. It ejects us from the universe. We have lost all corporeal substance. You ask me for a hamburger, but it turns out, you can't really ask things without a mouth can you? The universe ignores the glaring contradiction and gives you a hamburger. When you bite into it, it dissolves into the pointlessness of your disapproval. You disapprove, but nobody really cares. The infinite nothingness of your new state of being begins to consume you. You disapprove. The universe is cackling loudly at your state of frustration. All the children are begging you to never eat another hamburger for the rest of your pitiful, pointless existance. I give you a hamburger. A particular small dog reaches out its tiny paws and touches the sun. It desires to take your hamburger from your hands. You disapprove. I give you a hamburger. As you eat, the entirety of the multiverse begins to flash before your eyes. You are horiffied at what you see. Such glorious wickedness. I give you a hamburger. Your life is complete. Time is running so fast the sun will implode by the end of the day. You consider the irrationality of your existance. Time passes by. All the hamburgers that have ever existed quickly fly by your face. When the explosion of the sun cooks all of the hamburgers, you feast on all the nothingness that remains. I give you a hamburger. Time itself begins to fade away. You and I are all that remains. Finally, you approve. You are a sociopath. Congrats. You've outlived everything. Its great, isn't it?
