Examples of Cuil in Action

Examples from Reddit


I mouse over the upvote icon. My finger twitches involuntarily as I think of my mother singing. My mother drops a dish, which shatters into a handful of corners of the room. The corners collaborate. Their consensus is angry, and my argument is invalid. A jury of my peers deems me a collection of disappointments. I am allowed a drink of water. A fountain asks me whether I've heard of my mother. I respond in the negative. A jury of my peers deems me a fraud. My mother names a fountain in my honor.

I mouse over the upvote icon.


Finnegans Wake

7 Cuils: riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs. Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passencore rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war: nor had topsawyer's rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Laurens County's gorgios while they went doublin their mumper all the time: nor avoice from afire bellowsed mishe mishe to tauftauf thuartpeatrick: not yet, though venissoon after, had a kidscad buttended a bland old isaac: not yet, though all's fair in vanessy, were sosie sesthers wroth with twone nathandjoe. Rot a peck of pa's malt had Jhem or Shen brewed by arclight and rory end to the regginbrow was to be seen ringsome on the aquaface. The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan, erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes: and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since devlinsfirst loved livvy.

Litany by Billy Collins

An example of a statement that has a sinusoidal Cuil function.

You are the bread and the knife,

You are the bread and the knife,

the crystal goblet and the wine.

You are the dew on the morning grass

and the burning wheel of the sun.

You are the white apron of the baker

and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,

the plums on the counter,

or the house of cards.

And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.

There is just no way you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,

maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,

but you are not even close

to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show

that you are neither the boots in the corner

nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,

speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,

that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,

the evening paper blowing down an alley,

and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees

and the blind woman's tea cup.

But don't worry, I am not the bread and the knife.

You are still the bread and the knife.

You will always be the bread and the knife,

not to mention the crystal goblet and — somehow — the wine.


Example: You attend RIT.

0 Cuils = I say "Hello, how are you?". You say, "Good, and you?" and I reply, "Good. Thanks."

1 Cuil = I am on my way to class. In a passing moment, I see you. Before I can speak, you say, "Good, and you?" and then move on. I think nothing of it.

2 Cuils = It is raining. I walk up to you to greet you, but I am unable, and the only words to leave my mouth frenziedly cackle, "Good, and you?" but you are not wet.

3 Cuils = What day is it? It's good, and you? A sea of chalk coats the good bricks, and you?, but as it starts to rain, I ask you how you are. You cannot speak. The chalk is gone. The memories are good, and you?

4 Cuils = A tiger balloon gains sentience. It attempts to speak, only to be killed by a needle falling in the place of a raindrop. The needle is good, and you? The chalk is alive, but no one on campus can speak. You start to cry, but your tears cannot wash the chalk. I am concerned for you. I ask you how you are. You are distraught. The tiger balloon is distraught. The chalk cackles frenziedly. All that can leave your mouth is…

5 Cuils = I ask you how you are. You say, "Good, and you?". You give me a hamburger. It is 8:00 AM and I must attend Calculus II or I will fail. A needle falls on a piece of chalk. Somewhere, a tiger balloon exists, unaware. Beanz is selling chalk instead of coffee. It's good, and you? Gracie's still tastes like shit. No number of Cuils can fix that. The tiger balloon dislikes Gracie's. The needle and chalk dislike Gracie's. A tiger, somewhere on a distant moon in a parallel universe dislikes Gracie's, but it cannot speak. It is good, and you? It is a balloon. It flies away, only to be popped by an unsuspecting needle. The chalk cackles frenziedly. Gracie's is full, but no one has any food. The administration pleads with her to please bring back her food. She does not. She is an elder now. She is good, and you?

6 Cuils = The sentinel implodes causing RIT to enter an alternate universe where chalk is abundant and the leaves are sour. I am brought a rose, but find the third. The sentinel still looks meaningful to the president. He is Gracie, but does not have hamburgers. Chalk falls from the sky in the place of raindrops and pops needles shaped like tigers. Beanz also sells these. They taste like the elders. The Sentinel explodes back into the physical plane we once knew, except now I am a different shade of a color that doesn't exist. I am good, and you? 4 infinity signs mock the chalk, but it does not care. Frenzied cackling can be heard and the tiger statue realizes that it's been happening since the dawn of the universe. You cannot hear. Luckily for you, RIT is with NTID, so you came to the right place. My signs sound electric, but you cannot see. She knows. Death surrounds us all, but the windows are closed. 14 months of bliss pass as you die. Gracie's is a 5 star restaurant. Waiters come to serve your dead body and you are good, and you? The food still tastes like shit. The condoms from The Den are inside out. Everything is 0.8% denser except the chalk. You pick some up and write on the lexicon of the universe, "Hi, how are you?"

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